Sometimes
I look through my Jewish neighbors windows. I see bookshelves full of books.
Some of the books are volume works. I never see televisions or television lights
coming from Jewish windows. I think about how nice it must be to have so much
information without being forced to defend how much space these books fill. I
also think about how great it would have been to grow up around so much
knowledge. I was a curious child, but my community did not encourage study. I
was considered a strange child because I wanted to know. I grew into the
curious adult that I still am, but it is a daily battle to maintain my hunger
for knowledge. I am told that it does not make money to gain knowledge and
share knowledge so it should be a side activity, a hobby. I fight to keep a
system of study alive. If improving the mind is a hobby and the mind is who we
are, how can I do anything but to study? This battle comes at a price in my community.
I live as a destitute while so many of my people die of stupidity with plenty
of resources at their disposal. I have also lost many friends in this battle.
People rather not have someone around that is informed because their stupidity
is blissful. It would be nice to go into the Jewish homes, sit down, and read
something, but all I can ever do is look through the windows and think of what
might have been if I were born into a different kind of community.
