Deciding To Stay Alive

As a black man who chose to keep my curiosity and value my mind above all else I am an oddity on the days that I am noticed at all. I actually like the times when I am invisible. Knowing that I will die without seeing a black consciousness, I thought that I should end it all and free myself from this body. One problem is that I am one of the members of an ethnic group that deserves to live because I am a good representative for us. Another problem would be if I was released from this body and lingered here instead of returning to source energy. I could be pulled into another black body to start the nightmare all over again. I have come to lean toward the idea that we are here to fulfill a purpose until we are done. So I will keep on fighting for reality. There may not be much left of me in the end, but it will be alright as long as I stay true to my energy self and tolerant of my ethnic group.